not working

my plan is not working so well. I am still feeling overwhelmed with things to do and having frustration about not getting them done, yet I am paralyzed when it comes to taking action. This is not entirely true, of course. I did figure out what leftovers we will have for supper and I did get the kids to the dentist today. But that didn't yield good news. Son got a referral to the orthodontist. Daughter has two more cavities! So we're going to have to floss and brush for her, as well as add an additional fluoride gel on top of her teeth after brushing at bedtime. Not fun for someone who doesn't want any help. Also, we will have to change some eating and drinking habits.

I'm feeling a little angry and frustrated and poor-me-ish. And guilty for all of those feelings. I do not like being a perfectionist! It is weighing me down right now.

clearing out the cobwebs

I once again have so many thoughts swimming about in my head that I can't focus on one at a time. So this entry will just be thoughts (that I'm willing to share) that I am listing for the sole purpose of helping to make space in my head to be able to concentrate on a few select things. Then hopefully I will be able to accomplish some things that have not gotten done due to the excuse that I just can't focus on them.

1. plan menus
2. update resume
3. put things away
4. create homes for things that don't have homes
5. exercise
6. learn Spanish
7. vestry clerk work
8. put away spring/summer clothes
9. laundry
10. update filing system
11. complete obligated correspondence
12. trim bushes
13. use up pantry food that I bought on a whim
14. set up printer

Oh there are many more, but maybe writing down these will help. It would also help dramatically if I were not such a perfectionist about these things!

Thinking Out Loud

Now that I've been back at work for a few months, I have gotten bitten by that helping others bug again. I love helping people communicate! So of course, I have started thinking about my career future again. I feel like I just finished college and was first figuring out what I wanted to do for a career. Only this time I like what I do. I think I just want to do that and more!

So the purpose of this entry is to get some of my thoughts out of my head. I also appreciate your feedback, as I rely on others to help me sort out my thoughts. I am not ready to jump ahead and take any irreversible action at this time. But I'd like to see what my options might be. Also, feel free to play devil's advocate with me, just indicate that you're doing so please. :)

Here are the parts of my job as a speech therapist that I really like:

• working with other people
• helping people with communication impairments make breakthroughs
• working with both patients/clients and families
• making a difference in their lives
• the spiritual high I get when I am in a relationship with a patient and/or family member
• how people seem to see my faith in me
• how I get to see others' faith in action
• teaching/training others

Here are things I don't necessarily do now but would like to do in a career:

• public speaking
• be able to communicate on a very basic level in Spanish when needed
• teaching
• counseling
• provide multiple services for others through my own skills or a network of professionals/charity organizations

Here are some reasons why I need to take this slowly:

• uncertainty of James' employment future
• I tend to get ahead of myself at times
• I already have a lot of commitments to others, especially to my family at this time
• My family must be my priority
• What if God is calling me to something new and different? How do I discern that?
  

Clean Playroom!

I'm very happy with the new and improved playroom. I (with significant help from MC) have tossed a kitchen trashbag-full of broken, outdated, no longer wanted and not suited to give away stuff. (Actually MC removed a few things from the trash. Her help was with the rest of the project.)

We removed some toys that are used for periodic play and stored them in the basement. We rearranged the furniture so that the rug in the middle of the room is absolutely bare. MC showed me how she can now dance in there. We dusted and vacuumed too, and it looks great. Only thing is now that she's got space to play in there, she's taken out all of her doll and stuffed animal friends and is playing with them in the (clean) living room. But that's okay, because the dolls and animals have homes in the playroom. It will be easy to clean them up tonight before going to bed. Oh, if only we can keep it this way.... (fingers crossed).

I have to add that after I wrote this, MC initiated cleaning up her dolls and animals from the living room before she started watching Dora on tv. She said from now on she would always put things away before starting to play with something else. I did not have to say anything to her - all her idea! I love it!

Birthday Sleepover

Happy Birthday, J! He is 9 years old today. We are currently finishing up his first sleepover. Two of his good friends spent the night here last night. We had lasagna and ceasar salad for supper (Jay's BD supper request), then went to see the movie "Shorts" which overall was a success, I think. One of his friends got up 5 or 6 times in the night, but doesn't remember any of it. And we thought Jay's sleepwalking was bad! This morning for breakfast we had bacon, apple slices and birthday cake. Then he got to open his presents.

The boys have been well-behaved, and MC has been a trooper. She came down with a cold last night, but she came with us to the movie and is now participating in Wii golf with the boys. We have 30 more minutes to go before pick-up.

Some of my favorite childhood memories were from birthday and slumber parties that my mom (I now realize) worked so hard behind the scenes to make happen for me. Thanks, Mom! I hope that my kids will have good memories of these parties too.

It's very interesting. Here in Raleigh, most of the birthday parties my kids have gone to have been held at some venue outside the home. All of the ones I went to were at my friends' houses. Perhaps that was because we were in the country and there weren't so many options. Many of my friends look at me in bewilderment when I say what we're doing for my kids' birthdays. "You're brave," they say. I'm just trying to foster friendships and create good memories.

And hopefully today there will be an opportunity for me to take a nap!

Cutting an Apron String

Today was a milestone in my life and in my son's. The family drove him to Charlotte, where he boarded a plane as an unaccompanied minor and flew to Huntsville AL. His grandparents were there to pick him up. It was wonderful to hear his excited voice calling from their cell phone at the Huntsville airport. It's a little strange around here without him, but I'm so happy he has this opportunity.

Time for a new post

Here are a couple of blog-worthy things to share:

1. yesterday MC gave me some early Mother's Day presents that she had made. (J also gave me some that he had made, and they were wonderful too.) My favorite gift she made for me was a piece of white paper with smaller, cut-out pieces of white paper glued down onto the big piece. It was then folded in half while the glue was still wet. When presented to me, she said I should open it up. The partially-dried globs of glue made it a little challenging to unfold completely. I commented that I liked the design made by the ripped paper. J asked her what it was. I am the proud owner of "something you can do when you don't want to do what you have to do" - I know you are jealous!

2. also yesterday I came downstairs to find MC holding a handful of chocolate cheesecake at the bottom of the stairs, saying, "mmmm. chocolate!" Then a piece of the cheesecake fell onto the floor. I escorted her into the kitchen where the refrigerator door was left open, and the aluminum foil that contained two large pieces of chocolate cheesecake was opened and sitting on her chair at the table. A rather large chunk was missing from one piece. I let her eat the rest of it, but told her she was finished with dessert for the rest of the day! I had been planning to offer her some of the cheesecake for dessert after supper. We had gotten it from the baker who didn't want to take it home from a party James and I went to the night before last. She has started trying to reach things and do things by herself lately. Unfortunately, it means I have to be more vigilant when we're alone in the house. I have gotten spoiled by her relative independence lately. But now she's pushing chairs up to the refrigerator and the pantry and trying to get to things that were put up high for a reason. Especially with snacks, she goes for the less nutritious things and fills up on those when I'm not looking. So I'm going to have to look more. Or install some more challenging locks or obstacles to keep her out.

3. I haven't been working out for the past three-plus weeks because I've been working at my research job when Curves is open. it's really not a good excuse. I could have gotten up early and walked in my neighborhood, or done floor exercises at home, or put in my pilates DVD and worked out that way. I could have run a little too, if I had really wanted to. But I did get to Curves today because I'm not working today. In fact this is my last week at that job until there is more data to rate in November. I burned 508 calories, according to the Curves software, and I did some floor exercises after I finished the circuit. I also did push-ups again for the first time in a month, I think. I didn't make it to 26, which I had previously been able to do in three spurts. I did make it to 20, though, in four spurts. It feels good to have worked out today. I know I have some work to do to make exercise a priority in my daily life when I have a busy schedule. While this job is ending for now, I have enjoyed working again, and I hope to find some other part-time work in the near future. James still is employed at his long-time job, at least for today. We're grateful for that.

Organizing

Yesterday I made a decision that we were going to order pizza for supper instead of me cooking. I used the time to pick up the living room. It is still dusty and needing the vacuum, but the floor and furniture are clear of debris and it actually looks peaceful. It also feels peaceful to go in there right now. MC said, "wow Mommy, you cleaned up!" She seemed very happy about it. She also made a point of showing me how she put some toys she had brought into the living room back in the play room when she had finished with them. I praised her big-time for that. Then she started saying how her room is really messy and she should clean it up. This morning she said she thought the playroom would never get cleaned up. I told her it definitely would. Now that we have the living room clean, we can keep it clean and then work our way into the playroom. In fact, my next living space to organize after my desk is going to be the playroom. I picked it because I know having that room as an enticing place to play will make a big impact on the neatness of the living room and the dining room. Those rooms have become alternate play areas since the playroom has probably less than 4 square feet of total empty floor space. Walking through it is definitely like going through an obstacle course!

I am encouraged that MC is noticing my efforts and independently expressing interest in helping me keep things neat, as well as that she might actually care about the clutter. I had thought that no one else cared about it in the family. It will certainly help me to stay on track with an ally like her.

Another Full Day

Here is some of what I've done today:

1. woke up around 7:15 and helped get kids ready for school
2. took MC to school at 9:15
3. worked out at Curves
4. visited a friend at her new office for 15 minutes
5. picked up MC from school with my mom and went to Costco
6. divided up the Costco goods with my mom - this is becoming a regular thing that we do
7. sent an email regarding ECW work from yesterday and also left a voicemail about this
8. prepared the lesson plan and made up trivia questions for the children's choir rehearsal I directed this evening
9. talked with my choir director about my decision to not sing with them at rehearsal tonight and on Good Friday
10. called James for help with kids tonight (usually he is on his own on Wed. nights and picks up the kids from church at 7:00 and then I go to adult choir rehearsal) - I figured MC was way too grumpy to cooperate with me (she fell into a deep sleep and had a very hard time waking up) and J should probably stay home tonight since he's behind on his sleep, has had some breathing trouble, and has been generally uncooperative recently. Especially last night after I finished this blog. he had a meltdown over some homework that was challenging. He asked for help but would not accept it as given (sorry, Momme, I remember treating you the same way over math homework). Yelling and screaming pursued - mostly his this time. Ultimately he finished his homework and went to sleep at around 9:45 pm.
11. went to children's choir rehearsal (again planning not to take J, but he followed me to the car and it would have taken James and me both to physically restrain him in order for him not to go, so he came along)
12. J and I "discussed" his behavior and my expectations of him during and after rehearsal while we were sitting in the parking lot before we went into church. Thank God for child safety locks!
13. Completed rehearsal, and brought J home
14. started this blog entry
15. I'm sure there are more things that would be worth mentioning, but they're not coming to mind right now. So I'll sign off. I've got to go to my job tomorrow, and I have a lot of preparing to do for our church retreat this weekend.
16. For the record, all is going well at this very moment. J is finishing his homework and MC just came out of the bathroom clean and dressed in pajamas after her shower - yes shower. She's really a big girl now, you know.
17. Oops! MC just brought her wet doll into the living room and it dripped on J's homework which was left on the floor. Let's hope it all works out alright.
    

Accomplished Today

Here are some of the things I've accomplished today:

1. Got out of bed at 7:15 and cooked sausage for the family
2. Helped J stay focused so he could be on time for school
   
3. Took J to school at 8:00 for chorus rehearsal before the bell at 8:30
4. Got a shower before taking MC school at 9:15
5. Read "Pinkalicious" to MC's class at 9:30
6. Met with my co-chair of the Diocesan ECW Raleigh Convocation to discuss business for 45 minutes
7. Worked with my friend Danielle - walked through the house to determine patterns of my clutter, took some notes, decided where to start decluttering and organizing (my desk), and got homework assigned from her to complete before next Tuesday's meeting
8. Picked up MC from school on time
9. Provided lunch for MC, Danielle and myself
   
10. Folded the white load of laundry that had been sitting in the dryer
11. Washed and dried a load of dark laundry (still sitting in the dryer at the moment)
12. Mailed 7 sympathy cards to church members who recently had family members who died (part of my job as vestry clerk)
13. Left a voicemail and sent an email related to ECW business discussed with co-chair this am
14. Decided what to cook for supper
15. Posted two entries on my blog (including this one)
16. Read some other people's blogs
17. Spent a little time on Facebook
18. Picked up J after Science Olympiad meeting today (like a quiz bowl competition to be held on 4/18) at 4:00
19. Talked with J about his day and what homework he has to do before tomorrow
20. Cooked supper (frozen pizza, sweet potatoes, and salad) and set the table - the whole family ate together at 5:20
21. Encouraged J to get ready for Taekwando (he really needs help at times to stay focused and remember that the clock keeps ticking in the real world - it seems to come to a standstill in his world) and gently escorted him to the van so James could take him to his lesson
22. Cleaned up after supper
23. Helped with a bath for MC
24. Dealt with MC's freaking out about her bandaids that were practically falling off - she ended up taking them off by herself and was very proud. I was very grateful!
25. Gave J his inhaler to use after he was having trouble breathing when he returned from Taekwando
26. Starting to get a little concerned about his breathing - he hasn't needed the inhaler in several months, and it had been several years prior to that. He's sitting in his chair reading but his breathing seems labored. He assured me he felt better after the inhaler. Now he's talking to his dad and his breathing seems more natural while he's talking so hopefully that's a good sign
27. That pretty much takes me up to the hour. It's my turn to read to MC tonight, and her bedtime is right about now. I plan to relax some more tonight, start the dishwasher which is full of dirty dishes, and try to go to bed earlier than usual.
    

Okay - Here's Something Funny to Post

Last night I woke up to the bathroom light being turned on by J and typical moving-around-in-the-bathroom sounds. I waited in my bed to see if he would require me to tuck him back in or turn out the light for him, which is often the case when he gets up in the night. As I lay there, however, I started hearing him make some whimpering-like sounds. These are typical sounds he makes when he is sleep-walking, which occurs once every 2 months, maybe? So I got up to investigate and found him brushing his teeth. I asked him why he was brushing his teeth, but he only whimpered a little more. He spit out the toothpaste - fortunately his actual toothpaste and not his dad's shaving cream or my facial soap - and left the toothbrush on the counter, then went back to bed. I pulled the covers over him and turned out the bathroom light. This morning when I first went into the bathroom I realized the toothbrush he was using was in fact mine! I laughed out loud and went to ask J about it. He emphatically denied that he brushed his teeth in his sleep - had no recollection of it whatsoever! But he definitely did do some sleep-brushing last night! Pretty funny, I think.

Life Is Not Fair

A good friend of mine called today to say a job she was really hoping was going to work out for her did not. They had hired someone else. What a disappointment. She's been looking for a new job since she was "downsized" last year. She is smart, capable, funny, responsible. It's just not fair that she's having such a hard time finding a new job. She doesn't deserve this. At the same time, however, I must say I am amazed at how she has handled this situation for these past months. In her I see that God has been right there in the midst of her life all this time. She has persevered where others might have given up. She has a strong faith and a good support system that will pull her through, even though she sometimes might be in doubt about them - especially her faith.

There is a lot of this kind of stuff going around. I hope all who are experiencing such tough times are able to see God at work despite the negatives. And to my friend, who reads this blog from time to time, I'm cheering for you and I'm here for you and I love you very much!

Getting It Together

Okay. I really feel like I might do it this time. I am going to pay a friend whom I trust to see my personal clutter and state of (un)cleanliness in my house. She is going to keep me on track and give me homework assignments to declutter and organize my house. This is not going to happen overnight, but I feel good about it. I really, when it comes right down to it, need help. I have so much stuff - mostly papers and containers and things I think I might be able to use down the road - that I am completely overwhelmed at the task at hand. I then lose focus and start the downward spiral that leaves me feeling bad about myself.

I have started a part time job, and have an interview for another part-time job on Friday. If I am going to start putting in work hours, I need to have this house in better shape. I want to be able to come home to a place of peace - not despair. I also know that when I can make "homes" for things that currently do not have homes (e.g., kids' art and papers/posters, toys; keepsakes; clothes; things I think need to file) it will be much easier to teach the kids how to pick up after themselves, as well as to maintain some sense of order around here.

I'm ready to have something funny to write about in here. I seem so serious lately. Maybe I'll come up with something like that soon.

A Loss of Enthusiasm

I have been trying to carefully select the responsibilities to which I commit. Right about now, however, I feel over-committed. And I don't feel like I can take anything off my plate. I have spoken with the adult choir director at church, and I will be leaving some rehearsals early - especially when I have other night-time commitments within the week. For example, tonight I have a vestry meeting, so tomorrow I'll leave choir rehearsal early in order to get home to help out with bedtime. I've also said there will be some weeks when I just can't attend choir with all the other personal and family commitments. But in terms of roles that I play, I don't see any that I can remove at this time. The one I am least excited about, and which was added last, is that of co-chair of the Raleigh Convocation for the diocesan Episcopal Church Women (ECW). This is only a one-year commitment, but today I wish I had said no. I suppose I might be able to find someone to take over for me, but that is the only way I feel I can bow out at this time. And I do have a co-chair, so I don't have to do it alone.

Part of the reason for this feeling of over-commitment is due to my new job and the possibility of adding on another part-time job to that. Plus doing all the work in my head to arrange childcare is challenging to say the least. Not to mention the phone calls/conversations/logistics arranging that I have to do to implement my plans.

Most of the time I feel good and optimistic. I wish I had a clean house, though. I've started asking my children to help out more, and for the most part, they have stepped up - especially J, believe it or not! I seem to be the only family member who has an opinion about things left out, bathrooms that need cleaning, dust bunnies multiplying exponentially, dishes that just don't seem to get clean. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to clean/straighten up if my family doesn't seem to mind the mess. But I feel lots better when it is not messy. I just don't like feeling like I'm the bad guy trying to make others do things they don't seem to believe are even necessary in the first place.

I am so ready for some sunshine. We've had 4 or 5 days straight of dreary, rainy, cloudy, cold weather. It's enough to make an optimist see the glass as half-empty! It's coming, though, one day soon. And when it does, I expect my mood will become more sunny as well.

Lots to Do

This chapter of my life is full of things to get done. I have started a new part-time job as a rater for a clinical trial for a potential treatment of stuttering in adults. This will be about 4 hours per week to start. The number of hours will ebb and flow as the data for the study comes in, but I will be on the job for the duration of the study - probably around a year. I still have the children's choir to direct, the vestry to organize, the meals to prepare, the laundry to complete, the child-raising to do, the husband-supporting to do, and the juggling of priorities every day.

Doors are opening up in a variety of ways - work, childcare, discernment of my callings, opportunities for exercise. It's exciting but seems to be moving so fast. James still has his job as of today. That's what we say to ourselves each day. His company is still under chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, which means a layoff would yield zero severance pay. We are handling things fairly well, I think. We're both very tired, though, these days. I know this uncertainty is hard on him. What I am convinced of, however, is that no matter what happens with his job, we will be okay. We will not lack for what we need. We may discover, however, things that we really don't need in the process. And I think that would be a fine thing to discover.

I don't know how this life chapter will affect my blogging. I will make myself sit down to post entries when it's been too long. Or you may start seeing posts more than once a day! I'll just see how it all flows.

On to the shower. I haven't had a chance to do that yet today, and I think it is now at the top of my priority list.

Good Morning

I woke up early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I didn't try very hard, actually. I am grateful to have been given this new day and all of the opportunities it affords.

On my agenda for today is to go get a drug screen as part of my new part-time job that looks like I might actually have soon. We have an additional day of training next Thursday. I can't remember if I blogged about this job or not, so I will provide more info about it later if I haven't.

Also today I am supposed to meet with the interim director of the Raleigh Convocation Choir, which recently formed, and of which I am a member. We're supposed to talk about the future/direction of this choir among other things. It's fun to be a part of the group, but I did receive some feedback from someone at church last night that it shouldn't be called the RCC if people from over the convocation didn't have an opportunity to at least audition. I didn't defend the choir, just said I'd pass on the feedback at my lunch today. I can see both sides. The idea was to start with a core group of singers whose voices were known to the director and then expand with auditions from churches within the convocation (greater Raleigh area). But from the outside, when you first hear of this, the feeling is that the choir is exclusive. I must admit I've been reluctant to talk about it with my church choir friends because I don't want them to feel bad. Thus, I've contributed to the problem. Oh well. I'll give it to God to iron out.

Later this afternoon, it's the science fair at J's school. He and a friend worked together this year. I am thrilled that this boy called to ask J to work with him. Furthermore, all the work was completed at his house! We will see what the judges think when we go by the school tonight. Tomorrow this friend will come home with J after school and stay through supper. I'm glad to see him making a new close friend.

It's the second day of Lent, and as a good Episcopalian, I am trying to be more self-disciplined than usual as I prepare for Easter. (I have a lot of room to go in the self-discipline category!) I think I will actually go and take my shower now before the kids wake up. I usually don't get to that until later in the day if the shower does indeed occur on a given day.

I hope you have a good day.

I'm still here

I just haven't blogged lately. It seems I can't come up with a topic about which to write whenever I think about blogging. So I don't do it. Today's entry isn't about anything in particular. It's a cold and wet day - very conducive for a nap. So far I'm not giving in to that temptation, however. I will go and do some laundry in a bit. I will make a meatloaf this afternoon for supper. I will get my things together to direct the children's choir tonight.

See - now I don't know what else to say.

Perhaps a nice cup of coffee would help.

The kids are doing well. It's never boring around here at all. It just gets really annoying sometimes with all the high-pitched squeals and increased volume in the house. I sure do love them, though. And overall they get along very well. That pleases me so much.

As always, I am grateful for everything that has gone right in my life. And for what hasn't, as I'd like to believe I am stronger for those not-right things. Guilt comes easily to me, and I don't think it is a healthy or helpful emotion. So I try to think through why I don't need to feel guilty. If I do need to feel guilty, I try to remedy what I've done wrong so I don't have to experience guilt about that anymore.

I'm quiet today. Not my typical M.O. Reflecting, pausing, accepting, just being.

But the pile of dirty laundry in my bedroom is about as tall as the bed. So it's time to take it to the basement. Then maybe I'll reward myself with a little snack. I'll consider eating something fairly healthy, too. I am actually hungry right now - my stomach is even growling. So I won't be eating simply as a reward. I'm just going to get some work done before I satisfy my hunger. And aren't I so lucky to have access to healthy food here in my house that I can eat when I'm hungry. God bless those who aren't so lucky.

Spelling Assignment

Here is a paragraph that J wrote as a spelling assignment this month. I'm not sure which of the words were actual spelling words, but he apparently came up with this to say from the words on his spelling list.

"I think my mom is a very kind person. She cooks meals for all of us every day. She always has a warm face and gives me warm kisses. She never frowns, not even when she's mad. Then, she only has a stern look. Best of all, I love it when she helps me go to sleep. My mom is the best ever!"

His teacher gave him a check-plus, and added "Sounds like it!!"

As I write this my son is having one of his difficult moments. I wanted to record this on my blog just in case I ever lose the piece of paper. It will be very helpful for me to re-read in times like this.

Up Early for a Saturday

I woke up early for a Saturday this morning. I got up to use the bathroom at 6:36 and couldn't go back to sleep. So I got up again and came downstairs. So far this morning, I've let the cat out and in and out and in and out and in, and shaken his bowl of food so that the little heart Aunt Sarah painted at the bottom of his dish is covered up. He prefers not to see that when he's eating. I have also made a pot of coffee which sounds like it's close to finished now. This is always a big accomplishment for me since my knight in shining armor of a husband makes and - get this: brings me a cup of coffee in bed!! - most mornings. I have also exchanged a few words with J, who fairly regularly wakes up around 7:00am. And last but not least, I have blogged a bit so far today. Yay me! Going to get a cup of coffee now and just sit with it for a little while and sip as I continue to wake up.

Blogging from a laptop

This is my first post composed at the laptop that my mother gave me when she got a new one and that a very generous friend revamped for me at no charge. (He did accept a bottle of wine as a token of my appreciation.) I'm hoping that I will be able to download videos from my new camera that James gave me for Christmas and post them more often via this laptop. I haven't installed the camera software yet, nor have I downloaded any pictures or videos. That is a soon-to-happen project that I anticipate will benefit this blog.

Life goes on. I am trying to stay in alignment as best as I can. James' company has declared bankruptcy, and while he has a job as of today, his future there is extremely uncertain. I have an interview next week for a part-time job that I hope will be a good fit for me. The kids are doing well. We had two snow days this week, plus the MLK holiday on Monday. So it's been a long week with the kids at home longer than expected. I spent much of Tuesday watching inauguration coverage. It is hard not to take for granted the peaceful transfer of power in our government. How very, very fortunate we are.

MC turned 4 on Saturday. We celebrated with a purple party which she had been planning ever since her pink party last year ended. By the way, she's already planning her 5th birthday party, and it's back to pink for that. J told me tonight that since she's already planning her next one, he is starting to plan his next one. When do kids outgrow birthday parties? That's what I want to know.

My grandmother (dad's mom and only surviving grandparent of James or me) turns 90 tomorrow! Both of my dad's sisters are flying into town to celebrate with her (and us). My uncle was unable to come due to work requirements. He will be with us in spirit, no doubt. I am looking forward to being able to spend some time with them, even if it is short. To reach 90 is certainly a milestone.

Happy New Year to all of my devoted readers. Thanks so much for your interest in what is on my mind. It means a lot to me.

2009 - The Year of Alignment

I have declared that 2009 is the Year of Alignment for me. When I say this, I mainly mean body alignment: maintaining good posture, not crossing my legs, keeping my feet pointed forward and not outward, being aware of where my body is in space and making a conscious effort to keep everything aligned as it was intended to be. Doing so will make me feel better about myself as I look thinner and fit better into my clothes. Case in point: I am wearing my size 10 jeans that I was able to fit into a year ago, but had not worn in the last 6 months. When I stand/sit up straight, they fit very well, and my muffin-top belly mostly disappears. When I start to slouch, the muffin top comes back and the pants start to give me indigestion. I realize that losing a few more inches in my mid-section will help this as well, and I intend to do that. But it sure does feel good to get back into them. Anyway, I digress a little. Alignment also means to me getting my priorities set appropriately for this stage of my and my family's lives. Aligning my goals and actions with what I believe God has in mind for me to do. Saying yes to things that are fun and/or interesting to me because they are in alignment with my God-given gifts and talents. Saying no to things that are not in my best interest or in that of my family. Alignment means having a basic structure to my days that allows me to fit in some sort of exercise, time with my husband and kids, prayer/devotion/scripture study time, and time for me to do my Helen-things like blogging, for instance. It also means keeping a perspective that when my day/body/priorities are out of alignment, I accept it with God's grace and simply readjust as best as I can and go on. Lastly, I want to align myself with others so that I am aware of what is going on in their lives and make choices that benefit them as well as me - both people I know and the rest of the world in general. So, as I adjust my posture and seating alignment in this chair again, I will carry on in my Year of Alignment.

New Taekwondo Chapter

Tonight I took J to his first individual Taekwondo class. The photo is of him receiving his new camouflage belt from Master Wegmann. After lots of consideration, we decided that it is best for him to continue alone. This will be his area of expertise. It should take him about 2 years to earn his first black belt.
I was impressed with how quickly he caught on to the new moves tonight, especially the ones with some of the TKD weapons that he got for Christmas.
The other good news about Taekwondo is that J won a Wii in their membership drive drawing the night of our graduation to camo belts. A friend of his (via his grandmother who is a good friend of mine) signed up to take classes. As a result J ended up with a bunch of tickets in the bowl so he had a good chance of winning. The Wii was the grand prize from the drawing. We get to pick it up after class on Thursday! He is so excited about it. I hope it meets his expectations. I'm looking forward to it too!

Brainstorming New Year's Resolutions

First of all, I know myself well enough to say I will be making new month's resolutions and even that will be a stretch. But at least I get to start over again on a fairly regular basis. I thought I'd just brainstorm here about some potential goals/resolutions. Here goes:

• do my push-ups every day
• stop eating in front of the tv
• stop eating snacks after 9:30 pm
• stretch for approximately 5 minutes every day
• go to bed earlier/get up earlier while getting enough sleep
• earn CEU's on a regular basis (~1 per month/10 hours per month)
• write thank you notes in a timely manner
• actually hand-write thank you notes
• spend more time really listening to my children
• stop crossing my legs when I sit (I understand it contributes to varicose veins)
• have a regular devotion time each day

That's enough for now. Actually that's enough - period!