Another Full Day

Here is some of what I've done today:

1. woke up around 7:15 and helped get kids ready for school
2. took MC to school at 9:15
3. worked out at Curves
4. visited a friend at her new office for 15 minutes
5. picked up MC from school with my mom and went to Costco
6. divided up the Costco goods with my mom - this is becoming a regular thing that we do
7. sent an email regarding ECW work from yesterday and also left a voicemail about this
8. prepared the lesson plan and made up trivia questions for the children's choir rehearsal I directed this evening
9. talked with my choir director about my decision to not sing with them at rehearsal tonight and on Good Friday
10. called James for help with kids tonight (usually he is on his own on Wed. nights and picks up the kids from church at 7:00 and then I go to adult choir rehearsal) - I figured MC was way too grumpy to cooperate with me (she fell into a deep sleep and had a very hard time waking up) and J should probably stay home tonight since he's behind on his sleep, has had some breathing trouble, and has been generally uncooperative recently. Especially last night after I finished this blog. he had a meltdown over some homework that was challenging. He asked for help but would not accept it as given (sorry, Momme, I remember treating you the same way over math homework). Yelling and screaming pursued - mostly his this time. Ultimately he finished his homework and went to sleep at around 9:45 pm.
11. went to children's choir rehearsal (again planning not to take J, but he followed me to the car and it would have taken James and me both to physically restrain him in order for him not to go, so he came along)
12. J and I "discussed" his behavior and my expectations of him during and after rehearsal while we were sitting in the parking lot before we went into church. Thank God for child safety locks!
13. Completed rehearsal, and brought J home
14. started this blog entry
15. I'm sure there are more things that would be worth mentioning, but they're not coming to mind right now. So I'll sign off. I've got to go to my job tomorrow, and I have a lot of preparing to do for our church retreat this weekend.
16. For the record, all is going well at this very moment. J is finishing his homework and MC just came out of the bathroom clean and dressed in pajamas after her shower - yes shower. She's really a big girl now, you know.
17. Oops! MC just brought her wet doll into the living room and it dripped on J's homework which was left on the floor. Let's hope it all works out alright.
    

Accomplished Today

Here are some of the things I've accomplished today:

1. Got out of bed at 7:15 and cooked sausage for the family
2. Helped J stay focused so he could be on time for school
   
3. Took J to school at 8:00 for chorus rehearsal before the bell at 8:30
4. Got a shower before taking MC school at 9:15
5. Read "Pinkalicious" to MC's class at 9:30
6. Met with my co-chair of the Diocesan ECW Raleigh Convocation to discuss business for 45 minutes
7. Worked with my friend Danielle - walked through the house to determine patterns of my clutter, took some notes, decided where to start decluttering and organizing (my desk), and got homework assigned from her to complete before next Tuesday's meeting
8. Picked up MC from school on time
9. Provided lunch for MC, Danielle and myself
   
10. Folded the white load of laundry that had been sitting in the dryer
11. Washed and dried a load of dark laundry (still sitting in the dryer at the moment)
12. Mailed 7 sympathy cards to church members who recently had family members who died (part of my job as vestry clerk)
13. Left a voicemail and sent an email related to ECW business discussed with co-chair this am
14. Decided what to cook for supper
15. Posted two entries on my blog (including this one)
16. Read some other people's blogs
17. Spent a little time on Facebook
18. Picked up J after Science Olympiad meeting today (like a quiz bowl competition to be held on 4/18) at 4:00
19. Talked with J about his day and what homework he has to do before tomorrow
20. Cooked supper (frozen pizza, sweet potatoes, and salad) and set the table - the whole family ate together at 5:20
21. Encouraged J to get ready for Taekwando (he really needs help at times to stay focused and remember that the clock keeps ticking in the real world - it seems to come to a standstill in his world) and gently escorted him to the van so James could take him to his lesson
22. Cleaned up after supper
23. Helped with a bath for MC
24. Dealt with MC's freaking out about her bandaids that were practically falling off - she ended up taking them off by herself and was very proud. I was very grateful!
25. Gave J his inhaler to use after he was having trouble breathing when he returned from Taekwando
26. Starting to get a little concerned about his breathing - he hasn't needed the inhaler in several months, and it had been several years prior to that. He's sitting in his chair reading but his breathing seems labored. He assured me he felt better after the inhaler. Now he's talking to his dad and his breathing seems more natural while he's talking so hopefully that's a good sign
27. That pretty much takes me up to the hour. It's my turn to read to MC tonight, and her bedtime is right about now. I plan to relax some more tonight, start the dishwasher which is full of dirty dishes, and try to go to bed earlier than usual.
    

Okay - Here's Something Funny to Post

Last night I woke up to the bathroom light being turned on by J and typical moving-around-in-the-bathroom sounds. I waited in my bed to see if he would require me to tuck him back in or turn out the light for him, which is often the case when he gets up in the night. As I lay there, however, I started hearing him make some whimpering-like sounds. These are typical sounds he makes when he is sleep-walking, which occurs once every 2 months, maybe? So I got up to investigate and found him brushing his teeth. I asked him why he was brushing his teeth, but he only whimpered a little more. He spit out the toothpaste - fortunately his actual toothpaste and not his dad's shaving cream or my facial soap - and left the toothbrush on the counter, then went back to bed. I pulled the covers over him and turned out the bathroom light. This morning when I first went into the bathroom I realized the toothbrush he was using was in fact mine! I laughed out loud and went to ask J about it. He emphatically denied that he brushed his teeth in his sleep - had no recollection of it whatsoever! But he definitely did do some sleep-brushing last night! Pretty funny, I think.

Life Is Not Fair

A good friend of mine called today to say a job she was really hoping was going to work out for her did not. They had hired someone else. What a disappointment. She's been looking for a new job since she was "downsized" last year. She is smart, capable, funny, responsible. It's just not fair that she's having such a hard time finding a new job. She doesn't deserve this. At the same time, however, I must say I am amazed at how she has handled this situation for these past months. In her I see that God has been right there in the midst of her life all this time. She has persevered where others might have given up. She has a strong faith and a good support system that will pull her through, even though she sometimes might be in doubt about them - especially her faith.

There is a lot of this kind of stuff going around. I hope all who are experiencing such tough times are able to see God at work despite the negatives. And to my friend, who reads this blog from time to time, I'm cheering for you and I'm here for you and I love you very much!

Getting It Together

Okay. I really feel like I might do it this time. I am going to pay a friend whom I trust to see my personal clutter and state of (un)cleanliness in my house. She is going to keep me on track and give me homework assignments to declutter and organize my house. This is not going to happen overnight, but I feel good about it. I really, when it comes right down to it, need help. I have so much stuff - mostly papers and containers and things I think I might be able to use down the road - that I am completely overwhelmed at the task at hand. I then lose focus and start the downward spiral that leaves me feeling bad about myself.

I have started a part time job, and have an interview for another part-time job on Friday. If I am going to start putting in work hours, I need to have this house in better shape. I want to be able to come home to a place of peace - not despair. I also know that when I can make "homes" for things that currently do not have homes (e.g., kids' art and papers/posters, toys; keepsakes; clothes; things I think need to file) it will be much easier to teach the kids how to pick up after themselves, as well as to maintain some sense of order around here.

I'm ready to have something funny to write about in here. I seem so serious lately. Maybe I'll come up with something like that soon.

A Loss of Enthusiasm

I have been trying to carefully select the responsibilities to which I commit. Right about now, however, I feel over-committed. And I don't feel like I can take anything off my plate. I have spoken with the adult choir director at church, and I will be leaving some rehearsals early - especially when I have other night-time commitments within the week. For example, tonight I have a vestry meeting, so tomorrow I'll leave choir rehearsal early in order to get home to help out with bedtime. I've also said there will be some weeks when I just can't attend choir with all the other personal and family commitments. But in terms of roles that I play, I don't see any that I can remove at this time. The one I am least excited about, and which was added last, is that of co-chair of the Raleigh Convocation for the diocesan Episcopal Church Women (ECW). This is only a one-year commitment, but today I wish I had said no. I suppose I might be able to find someone to take over for me, but that is the only way I feel I can bow out at this time. And I do have a co-chair, so I don't have to do it alone.

Part of the reason for this feeling of over-commitment is due to my new job and the possibility of adding on another part-time job to that. Plus doing all the work in my head to arrange childcare is challenging to say the least. Not to mention the phone calls/conversations/logistics arranging that I have to do to implement my plans.

Most of the time I feel good and optimistic. I wish I had a clean house, though. I've started asking my children to help out more, and for the most part, they have stepped up - especially J, believe it or not! I seem to be the only family member who has an opinion about things left out, bathrooms that need cleaning, dust bunnies multiplying exponentially, dishes that just don't seem to get clean. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to clean/straighten up if my family doesn't seem to mind the mess. But I feel lots better when it is not messy. I just don't like feeling like I'm the bad guy trying to make others do things they don't seem to believe are even necessary in the first place.

I am so ready for some sunshine. We've had 4 or 5 days straight of dreary, rainy, cloudy, cold weather. It's enough to make an optimist see the glass as half-empty! It's coming, though, one day soon. And when it does, I expect my mood will become more sunny as well.

Lots to Do

This chapter of my life is full of things to get done. I have started a new part-time job as a rater for a clinical trial for a potential treatment of stuttering in adults. This will be about 4 hours per week to start. The number of hours will ebb and flow as the data for the study comes in, but I will be on the job for the duration of the study - probably around a year. I still have the children's choir to direct, the vestry to organize, the meals to prepare, the laundry to complete, the child-raising to do, the husband-supporting to do, and the juggling of priorities every day.

Doors are opening up in a variety of ways - work, childcare, discernment of my callings, opportunities for exercise. It's exciting but seems to be moving so fast. James still has his job as of today. That's what we say to ourselves each day. His company is still under chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, which means a layoff would yield zero severance pay. We are handling things fairly well, I think. We're both very tired, though, these days. I know this uncertainty is hard on him. What I am convinced of, however, is that no matter what happens with his job, we will be okay. We will not lack for what we need. We may discover, however, things that we really don't need in the process. And I think that would be a fine thing to discover.

I don't know how this life chapter will affect my blogging. I will make myself sit down to post entries when it's been too long. Or you may start seeing posts more than once a day! I'll just see how it all flows.

On to the shower. I haven't had a chance to do that yet today, and I think it is now at the top of my priority list.