Girls in Boxes

This photo was taken of MC and her cousin E on Saturday when we went to visit E and her Mommy in Greensboro. Despite E's fever and overall not-feeling-well-ness, the girls had some fun playing together.

Letting Him Choose for Himself

This morning the choir I direct at church sang during the service. They did an excellent job, as usual. The hard part was my son wasn't there. That in itself is not unusual. He's been sporadically showing up to sing this year. If I'm honest, he's been sporadically participating in church choir ever since he began in the youngest choir 4 years ago. He loves to sing, but apparently gets nervous and embarrassed when in front of the congregation. Sundays when the choir sings have become extremely stressful for our whole family as a result of this conflict within him. So James and I decided to give him the choice of dropping out of choir for the rest of this year or finding it within him to participate as expected and staying with it through one more performance in May. After much hemming and hawing, he told us he had decided to not be in choir. I have to pretend that this doesn't matter to me. If I am honest, I really want him to be in choir. But I hate to see him in such torment. He was in tears at rehearsal on Wednesday night. Also if I'm honest, I want him to be in the choir because he wants to do it, not because he wants to please me. So it has to be okay for him to make this decision for himself. I have to be okay with his choice, too. And I will. But it is really hard. And I am holding out hope that he will join us again when choir resumes in the fall. Maybe some time to miss it will help him decide to come back. It's times like this when I'd rather be up all night for feedings and diaper changes than watch him grow up and decide things that don't match my expectations and hopes for him.

Life After the Follies

Well, we did it, and it was a great night. We had over 200 people in the audience and put on a show that touched people's emotions from many angles. Before expenses we had raised close to $25,000. This will put 5 Sudanese women through one year of Seminary in the Anglican church there, as well as provide funds to build two bathrooms in a dormitory that is being built for them.

I had a fun night. I got to dress up in Sarah's bridesmaid dress. My mom hemmed it so that I wouldn't trip over it on stage. She also took a sequiny/shiny silver piece of fabric belonging to my niece and turned it into a cummerbund which I wore over the dress to complete my fancy look. It was kind of like being Cinderella, though, because the next day my mom took out the hem and I've taken it to the cleaner's where they will press the crease from the temporary hem and make it look like it was before. I'll return it to Sarah this weekend when MC and I go to Greensboro on Saturday. I hope to get copies of some pictures to share, but none are in my camera, so I have to wait.

I also had my hair put up by my hairdresser and my makeup done at the Bobbi Brown counter, so I was feeling especially Cinderella like in that way too. I removed 75 bobby pins and one rubber band from my hair when I took it down!

The audience was fantastic. They cheered and clapped and loved every minute of it. During Operator, I didn't hear the music that was to bring us into the last verse after an instrumental interlude. As a result, it took all of us a few measures to get back on track. We did it though, and had a strong finish. Aside from that glitch (the keyboardist later told me he had lost his place in the music during the interlude), I absolutely loved singing it and felt on fire with the Spirit. Before this experience, I had no idea I had that stuff in me. Now I am looking for more opportunities to sing like that again. It was a spiritually transforming experience that I will never forget.

Multi-tasking

Here are some of the things I am managing in my life right now:

• Being a wife - James and I invested in a babysitter for the past two nights and each night we went out together and had some dating time. We haven't done this for us in a while, and it is really important. Being a wife takes energy, and I find that I have more of it when I manage the other parts of my life better.
• Being the caretaker of the home - This isn't going so well right now. The energy (and spare time) I do have right now is more focused toward being a loving wife and mother. I do think all the clutter and dust bunnies and pollen in the house is negatively affecting our attitudes a bit. However, I must put off most of this work for now for the sake of my family's sanity. I am doing a fairly good job at providing clean clothes for my family to wear, but not necessarily getting the clean clothes to the target drawers and closets.
• Being a mother - I'm glad it's still the school year. J is in school during the day, which is good for everyone. MC has preschool Wed. and Fri. mornings. This week my time when she's in school is especially precious to me for managing all other aspects of my life. The energy it takes to be mom to my 2 kids is tremendous. Most of it is mental energy, trying to plan ahead and predict how the kids will react and hopefully prevent major tantrums.
• Fitting in exercise - When I have childcare, I try to go to Curves for part of my exercise routine. There are machines there that help strengthen my muscles and increase my heart rate, but more importantly there is a support system of friends there that feed me mentally and spiritually when I go. I am also training for the 5K in June. I've been going to physical therapy to strengthen my quad muscles and help with my knee pain from running. Yesterday I ran 2.3 miles. I've got .8 miles to add to my routine to get to the 3.1 miles that equal 5K. When the weather turns hot and muggy, I may have to adjust the time of day when I run.
• Directing the children's choir - We rehearse on Wednesday nights and sing in church again on 4/27. There are 25 kids on the roll, with average attendance of 21 each week. We also will sing on 5/18, and are working on both anthems currently.
• Singing in the adult choir - Our church choir has been extremely busy lately. Last Sunday we sang for the confirmation service, in which the Bishop confirmed or received some 60 people into the Episcopal church. He said that was more than he had done in the past several years! We also sang during an Evensong service held this past Tuesday night. Peter Gomes, the well-known Harvard preacher and minister spoke at this service, which was attended by 465 people, many from other churches in the area. The choir is also singing at the Millennium Follies this Saturday.
• Producing the Millennium Follies - I am involved in the production aspect of the Follies, finding volunteers, helping with wording of the programs, making decisions with the committee about the putting-on of this event.
• Participating in the Millennium Follies - I am involved in three numbers in the Follies, trying to find time to practice on my own and attend required rehearsals with the groups. On Saturday I am having my hair put in an "up-do" by my hair dresser for the occasion. I am also going to wear the bridesmaid dress that my sister wore in my wedding!
• Being a member of the Vestry - I was elected to the Vestry at church for a three-year term beginning this January. So far I really enjoy my work on the Vestry. We are kicking off a capital campaign this month to expand our church facility and replace our organ, in which the Vestry will be closely involved.
• Serving as Immediate Past President for ECW - This role is wonderfully less demanding than my role as president last year. Much thanks goes to the current president Elizabeth for all of her hard work.
• Teaching second grade Sunday School - James and I are teachers in J's SS class on a rotating basis. We taught last Sunday and again one more time in May before letting out for the summer.
• Getting ready to help Sarah - My main function will be to coordinate all the folks who want to help out Sarah in the days surrounding her upcoming surgery on 4/30.
• Posting on my blog - as you can see, with all my multi-tasking, this blog does not get expanded upon daily. However, I like having a place to put some of my thoughts. If you read all the way down here, thank you! You must be one of my favorite people to want to read all this!

I've signed up!

Here is the link to my webpage for the Race for the Cure. You can go there to make a donation in support of me as I run my first 5K on June 14th. Here's to you, Sarah!

http://race.komennctriangle.org/site/TR/Race/General?px=1244467&pg=personal&fr_id=1030&et=6kyo_1zycK2M9fKMoqGzqA..&s_tafId=7320

Unleashing My Soul

It's been a long time since I've sung like this. Maybe not even ever, really. I'm classically trained, and pretty conservative when I sing. But as I've been getting older, and getting more in shape, I'm discovering my voice has a wider range both in pitch and in character. On Saturday I sang two songs from Oklahoma! at a breakfast honoring a group of breast cancer survivors. Both songs were well-received, and I really loved doing it. It felt so good.

The other opportunity for this fun type of singing is the Millennium Follies we're putting on at church on April 19th. We're raising money in support of one of the UN's Millennium Development Goals - to promote gender equality and empower women. Our funds raised will go to women entering the Episcopal Church Seminary in the Sudan.

Anyway, we're putting on this show, and I am in several numbers. One of them includes some dancing. (I even bought myself some new dancing shoes!) I am loving doing it and singing in this fun style. Another number is called "Operator", which is being sung by a quartet and soloist (that's me, if I can pull it off). It's got a little gospel edge to it. The main words are "Operator, information. Please get me Jesus on the line." We're doing the version of the song as performed by Manhattan Transfer. The solo has lots of bluesy notes and some are very high! I'm working with a coach tonight to improve the solo. The kids have had a lot of fun hearing and watching me practice at home. They practically know the song themselves. It's pretty cute to hear MC singing it to herself when no one is looking. J has been doing some dancing with me too. Lots of fun.

It's a little scary, but sooo good for me to stretch myself this way. I feel free when I'm dancing and singing without holding back. It's like my soul is being unleashed for the first time. I gotta stay connected to that Jesus!